donderdag 6 januari 2011

Mystery

It's difficult to understand what is going in Kalle's body. We try to 'read' him as good as we can, based on everything that happened during the last year. But sometimes we just don't know. Why did he have a good night yesterday? Why didn't he the night before? Why was his epilepsy 'okay' today and terrible a couple of days ago?
The doctor said that small things can have a big influence on the epilepsy, like obstipation or a virus you can't see 'cause it's not causing a fever. There are no big changes in his medication, so we can just guess. It often remains a mystery. We learned to accept that we don't have all the answers, and neither do the doctors. Sometimes it feels like a guessing game.
Kalle in his sheep-sun-clouds-PJ ...hope he'll have a good night.
We can't see what is going on in Kalle's head. And if we could we would probably realize even more that there isn't a cure for every bad thing that is happening to him. And that not every bad sign we see on the outside means automatically that there is something serious going on. So what we try to do is say 'he just has a bad day'. We try to find a normal answer for an irrugelar question. And then we hope that the next day will be better. And that's what happens every now and then. Bad day - good day. Maybe he uses the bad days to grow, apparently that's what happens with healthy kids, too. Growing pain. Just a regular thing.

Sonja

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