Never again

The 20 minute car ride yesterday from the medical daycare center to our home was the worst of all rides ever. 'I hope he'll be more relaxed at home than he was here with us', the nurse said. Unfortunately that didn't happen. Kalle was epileptic almost the whole 20 minutes, with short breaks. He was crying, with panic in his eyes, almost choking in his tears. I tried to drive with my left hand on the steering wheel, my right hand on Kalle's leg, almost crying as hysterically as my son. I decided to drive as fast as I could (and as fast as all the red traffic lights let me), instead of stopping and trying to sooth him. It was a nightmare and I hope this will never happen again.
Maybe a day at the daycare center just was too much for him. Too many noises, too much going on, not enough rest. Maybe yesterday was a day Kalle needed rest, a relaxed atmosphere. And maybe I should have listened to my gut feeling in the morning, telling me Kalle should stay at home.
He needed some time to calm down. The evening was okay-ish, even though I still saw lots of small series of muscle jerks. The night was much too short.
Very curious what the EEG on monday will tell us.

And I really hope the next post will bring better news.